Aloha!

Well Aloha to you all, I was getting fed up with the weather there on the Mainland, as they call it here, and decided to change my scenery… didn’t take long to find something to complain about.

I literally had just set foot in the airport of beautiful Hawaii, when my flight seat buddy, who went by ‘Ole Tom, explained that the choir of noises I was hearing was coming from little frogs. I thought, “Oh, that’s so cute!”

Then he went on to tell me they are not from Hawaii, but from Georgia, and I don’t mean the Georgia that’s in Russia. At least that would have been a creative feat to have pulled off. (Right now some guy in Georgia named Joe Billy Joe is thinking “Hey they got a place in Russia named after our own state!” Man you got to love our education system.)

Anyway, yeah, some guy from Georgia, probably a relative of Joe Billy Joe. Missed his home state so much he smuggled at least 2, and it’s a pretty safe bet one of them was a girl. So! What was it!? He wanted to feel a little more at home?

Now I know, some of you are asking, how do I know it was a guy? Fair question! Easily answered! You see, woman don’t have that same need to spread their seed of life all over the place, men do! A perfect example is the English! In their hey day, their favorite pastime was fishing and as they conquered the world, guess what they loved to leave behind? No, not vials of semen, but fish (Ok maybe not vials but they did that too). Yes they spread those babies all over Europe, Africa, America, even Brazil. In fact, Brazil has the only sea-going run of brown trout in the world. Now, one might think, “hey, that’s cool!” and honestly in some ways it is. An argument could be made to say that man is a part of nature too, so it’s all good. Hmm, let’s see… at least fish provides a food! I say it’s ok as long as it doesn’t threaten or infringe on other species, which is rare. While we’re on the topic of fish, here’s one that really does suck.

Several morons decided to smuggle a few Pike fish into Northern California a few years back, guess they were bored of fishing for Bass, Salmon, Stripper, Cat fish, Rainbow trout, as well as many others. They put them in a lake/reservoir and it was enough Pike that they bred and had babies. Well when it rained, this lake would eventually spill into the river below it, and that’s just where major Steelhead and salmon runs occurred! (Where Salmon go to have babies!) Good going, morons! For those of you who don’t know what a Pike fish is I will now describe: It is a long and powerful predator fish with razor-sharp teeth. They are very aggressive fish that can get anywhere from 30 to 60 pounds. If it had gotten established it could have wiped out the salmon, steelhead and rainbow trout as well as any other poor fish which might have been swimming around. They have no defense against such a fish.

Anyway, Dept. of fish had to poison the lake several times over the course of two years before the problem was finally resolved. I won’t even get into that for now. “Mommy, where does the poison go?” “It just disappears into thin air Jimmy.” Lucky they were detected when they were or it could have been a disaster.

Ok, Hmm, frogs… still not getting anything, Uh just a quick note if they ever catch those guys! I think they should be submerged in a pool up to their waists, with large Pike and have bait attached to their genitalia, assuring they will live but they will not produce offspring of their own. A Pikesectomy! Of course this should only be done in Michigan or anywhere Pike is a native species.

Ok, back to the original point: the rationale is not there for frogs, and let me tell you, they are everywhere here, and they have propagated into the millions. They have no threats to themselves, so? Carry on, and keep on Froggin’! Of all the frogs to bring, it would take a Georgian to have brought the most useless; you can’t even eat them, they’re so damned small. They sound like a cricket and a bird. They whistle more than anything.

One thing’s for sure though, if the guy who brought them used to live here? You can bet he doesn’t live here anymore! I mean, think of it! Could you live around a constant 24-hour reminder of your own selfish, ignorant, stupidity? Could you sleep at night, listening to that repetitive singing, whistling, major screw up you single-handedly caused? I can imagine the guy losing his mind eventually; the frogs would have been calling out his name! “Joe! Billy Joe! Joe! Billy Joe!” He may have gone mad. Just think, he wouldn’t go home, not to Georgia, ‘cus that’s where the frogs came from! That’s ok, he could always go back to that Georgia in Russia.

To be continued…

Zen Twist